Adult daughter refuses to bring $100 minimum plate for family Thanksgiving to match the cost of $300 turkey, decides not to attend instead to make a point: 'The way it was presented and the fact that it wasn't agreed to beforehand makes me upset'

Brad Dickson • Managing Editor

Nov 27, 2025 12:00 PM EST

Family gatherings. Something we looked forward to every year as a kid, excited for all the time you were going to spend playing with your cousins, with everyone together and warm cozy vibes supported by good food and conversation.

Blissfully oblivious to the planning, the coordination, and the cost of everything. When dinner was called, all you had to do was grab a plate and dig in.

But, where did all of that food come from? Sure, Mom would get up at the crack of dawn to start the day-long process of cooking the stuffed turkey, but aside from that and the apples you peeled for apple pie, you really took all of that for granted.

If you've ever cooked a meal for four or so people, you know how much work and how expensive even a simple meal can be. (When did food get so expensive?) By the time you account for all of your extended family, numbering 10 to 20 people, it's an exorbitant cost that one person couldn't possibly shoulder.

While you can get away with freeloading when you're a kid, by the time you're an adult-sized kid, you need to contribute beyond peeling the apples. Still, you can't just go blindsiding people with costs, especially in this economy, and just because you decided to splash out on food for the holidays doesn't mean that everyone in your family is going to be able to match you.

Who is in the wrong here? It's hard to say, but I think the poster gets the edge on this once since she wasn't privy to the expectation of cost. Still, how much does a plate for a whole extended family cost these days? I'd be shocked if it wasn't somewhere north of $50.

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"WIBTA for refusing to bring $100 minimum to Thanksgiving"

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